16 days ago our agency said they hope to have a referral for us within the month... maybe sooner, maybe later. That was 16 days ago. I have no cause to be anxious, no reason to check the inbox of my email every time I pass the office, no excuse for taking my cell phone from room to room as I go about the day. But, I do. That, and more. I am a little pathetic. And, the funny thing is, I think I am hiding this OCD behavior from the world. Not so.
Keith is totally on to me. He has played along with all of my neurotic attempts at passing the days. The latest distraction is a trivia game the beauty of which is that it can be played anytime, anywhere!! It is called: WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU ARE GOING TO DO WHEN WE GET THE CALL? The game consists of me saying, "What is the first thing you are going to do when we get the call?" And, then... he answers. Tricky, right???
While walking along Boston Harbor while celebrating our anniversary (7 years, thank you!), he was forced to play this game no less than 4 times... so patient. His answers ranged from the adorable (drive immediately to babys 'r' us and buy a pink dress) to the absurd (call her in Guatemala and introduce myself), and I truly appreciate his willingness to entertain my obsession. He is a lovely and kind man who deserves far better than scrambled eggs for dinner on Father's Day.
Well, as the title says, we are so busy. Our way too full schedule helps with the illusion that we are patient while we wait. But it is just that; an illusion.
I am giving away the magician's secret; tipping my cards, as they say.
Drum role please..........running around like a lunatic keeps me sane.
It looks something like this:
playdate, check email
sign Sam up for swim/tennis/soccer, check phone
get ready for brother's wedding (yay!), check email
workout, church, family... phone, email, phone
The crazier our schedule, the more to do, the less (seemingly) we stress about waiting.
16 days down. Any day now we will see a picture of our daughter. What will be the first thing we do when we get the call? Hmmmmmm.
Much love.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Monday, April 2, 2007
An Update: By Popular Demand
I wish there was more to tell....
Last week we met with our case worker to review the Home Study Report. Keith and I sat side by side on the couch ottoman, each with our own copy of the report, and read the summary of our existence. Talk about surreal. (By the way, we look good on paper! ha ha ha) It was a very bizarre moment in time, and then it was done. We approved the report, then hopped in the car and set off for a week long family vacation.
Now, we are back, happy to see the snow has melted, and are trying to navigate the road ahead. We have decided to spend the next couple of weeks talking to the powers that be to learn more about the various country programs. Though we feel a strong pull toward Guatemala, the looming threats to close/change the adoption program there leave an unsettled feeling, and we believe we owe it to ourselves to explore all options before we commit. That's really all that is going on at the moment. We are on a self-imposed time out. What's a few weeks when you are planning forever?
In the meantime, our friends Bobbi and Joe have come home from Guatemala with the newest addition to their family! Welcome home, Reese!
Much love.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Home Study 101
No one tells you that the Home Study is like, ummm, I guess, a pop quiz. Except you have had 31 years to prepare because the test is all about "you". A fill-in-the-blank of your whole life. A True/False of your marriage, your family, and childhood. A short answer of your parenting beliefs. AND, a multiple choice of all things personal; past, present, and future.
We had a great visit with our case worker. Really. She is lovely, kind, funny, and very gentle with her incredibly detailed and very thorough questions. We really had a nice time meeting with her. I love talking about anything and everything that comes around to our daughter. It's just sort of intense. Imagine the most important job interview of your life. You prepare, you know your facts, you look the part, you know you are the best person for the job... bring it on! Then, whoa! The questions come. Keith, tell me how you fist knew that you loved Beth. Beth, what qualities did you first admire about Keith. What is challenging in your marriage? How do you discipline Sam, how do you solve problems, what was your childhood like, why did you get a speeding ticket in 2000?????? That's not to get into the topics that actually pertained to adoption!! Well, it all went well and we are happy to be moving forward. (Sigh of relief.)
What's to come?
Our case worker will meet with one of our references. (Oh, to be a fly on the wall.) She will write our Home Study report. (That should be a good read!) Then we will begin to collect the paperwork that will make up our dossier. Ideally, this information would go to Guatemala, but we are less certain of that with each passing day. We are considering other countries to proceed with and are relying on input from some very smart people.
Here is a link for those interested in "what is going on with adoption in Guatemala????".
http://www.guatadopt.com/archives/000600.html#000600
It is all very disheartening, and we are hopeful for those families who are already invested in bringing their child home from Guatemala.
Though we are not entirely sure of how we will proceed, we are truly committed to bringing our child home... wherever she may be. Stay tuned.
Oh, and loved this book, too. It was practically written with Sam in mind and he loves to hear the point of view of the big brother!
Much love.
We had a great visit with our case worker. Really. She is lovely, kind, funny, and very gentle with her incredibly detailed and very thorough questions. We really had a nice time meeting with her. I love talking about anything and everything that comes around to our daughter. It's just sort of intense. Imagine the most important job interview of your life. You prepare, you know your facts, you look the part, you know you are the best person for the job... bring it on! Then, whoa! The questions come. Keith, tell me how you fist knew that you loved Beth. Beth, what qualities did you first admire about Keith. What is challenging in your marriage? How do you discipline Sam, how do you solve problems, what was your childhood like, why did you get a speeding ticket in 2000?????? That's not to get into the topics that actually pertained to adoption!! Well, it all went well and we are happy to be moving forward. (Sigh of relief.)
What's to come?
Our case worker will meet with one of our references. (Oh, to be a fly on the wall.) She will write our Home Study report. (That should be a good read!) Then we will begin to collect the paperwork that will make up our dossier. Ideally, this information would go to Guatemala, but we are less certain of that with each passing day. We are considering other countries to proceed with and are relying on input from some very smart people.
Here is a link for those interested in "what is going on with adoption in Guatemala????".
http://www.guatadopt.com/archives/000600.html#000600
It is all very disheartening, and we are hopeful for those families who are already invested in bringing their child home from Guatemala.
Though we are not entirely sure of how we will proceed, we are truly committed to bringing our child home... wherever she may be. Stay tuned.
Oh, and loved this book, too. It was practically written with Sam in mind and he loves to hear the point of view of the big brother!
Much love.
Friday, March 2, 2007
Snow Day!!
I don't know what it is about a snow day! I just love them. We have had a totally relaxing day, it's been great to stay in Pj's and just do "whatever".
The only problem with a day to lounge is that it provides way too much time to casually pop on the Internet and read the many, many articles regarding the status of adoption in Guatemala. It is very disheartening, and I really don't know what we are going to do. Luckily, I guess, we are still in the Home Study process, so we do not need to make a final decision yet. I just want to.
The only problem with a day to lounge is that it provides way too much time to casually pop on the Internet and read the many, many articles regarding the status of adoption in Guatemala. It is very disheartening, and I really don't know what we are going to do. Luckily, I guess, we are still in the Home Study process, so we do not need to make a final decision yet. I just want to.
I spend a lot of time thinking about those who are already in the process. We have become friends with a couple who are supposed to bring their son home in a few days, but that is not happening now. They will be bringing him home at the end of the month, and that is the real blessing. I wonder about all the other families who are waiting. I have read such strength and love in the stories of those who are willing to share. This is an amazing community we find ourselves among. We have a long way to go, but we know, like so many others, that there is a child that belongs with our family and we will do what is needed to bring her home.
I am looking for guidance on this ever looming decision. We are very fortunate to have a small and wise support group who are helping us process the real and unreal details surrounding the ongoing debacle (as one friend called it). The prevailing opinion of the moment is to wait and see. In the meantime, it doesn't hurt to gather information about the adoption process for other countries.
Man! I was in a happy-go-lucky snow day kind of mood, and now I have gone and "journaled" a whole heap of worries! Enough of that.
Another upside to a snow day is cleaning. WHAT?!? Those who know me well just dropped jaw, but I am serious. I puttered in between this and that, and my house is clean!! With Home Study Part 2 just around the corner, I am quite pleased with myself. Whether we can maintain this museum like appearance (ha!) for the next several days... well... nah, it will never happen. Well, at least the house looks nice for my in-laws who are joining us this evening.
Finally, here are some upcoming events that interested me:
Would love to check this out.
http://www.porttix.com/shop/item.asp?itemid=1001
Hmmmm.... should I? It may be too late, but worth looking into.
http://www.mainetrackclub.com/safepassageinfo.html
Much love.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Peaches & Cinnamon
The continuation of the "Things Sam Says":
Over the past several weeks, we have danced delicately around our unanimous family decision to add to our family through adoption. We were conscious to not talk too much or too little about "it" in the beginning. We didn't want to talk so much that we built up Sam's excitement and let him down, knowing this would be a very long process. We didn't want to talk too little, knowing he would have questions and that he would be hearing us talk with others about it. So far, it is all feeling okay. Not too hot, not too cold, just right.... just read Goldilocks today.
Sam and I were recently at Borders looking at this book and that. With my copy of the newest book club choice and Sam's copy of the new Charlotte's Web Easy Reader, we ventured into the travel section. I casually snagged a copy of a travel guide for Central America, and feeling on a roll, inquired about Children's Literature on the topic of adoption. (I Love You Like Crazy Cakes) With our bundle of books and a couple of well placed chocolates from the checkout line, we headed home to crack open our new lit. I love new books. And, I really love days like the one this became. We had braved the cold and wind to traverse the mean and unforgiving parking lot, and felt totally justified in curling up on the couch under a shared blanket to laze away the afternoon with our new reads. It was a dream.
Well, it came to the moment when I was thumbing through the Guatemala section of the travel guide. Sam, always curious, asked what I was looking at. I showed him the pictures and maps of where his sister might be born. He immediately wanted to find a picture of a little girl. We had previously talked about the idea that a little sister born in another country will have a different color skin than he does. His response was instant and pure.... he simply informed us that, "everyone has different color skin, that makes us special." More love, love, love. So, feeling comfortable with his lovely view on the world, it was fun to search the pages with him. We also read Crazy Cakes, and I was left, again, with the feeling like Sam is just taking this all in stride. It is a great help to me.
So, this leads me to Peaches and Cinnamon.
Much later on the same day of books and cuddles, Sam asked if we could talk about the 'baby" again. I remember having this very laptop in my lap and tossing it to the side as he crawled up next to me. I asked what he wanted to talk about. Among many topics, he asked me what color he was, and what color would she be?? Without really thinking too much about it, I said he was sort of a peachy color. He checked out his hands and arms and agreed that that was about right. I said that I thought she would probably be more like a cinnamony shade of pretty. He giggled. A lot. He said he liked cinnamon. It was such a tiny moment in time. I remember just feeling goofy and teasing, "Peaches and cinnamon, mmmmmmm, I am going to have such tasty kids, I will just have to eat you up!" It is so small to write this, because it felt so much more. It was two seconds, but it was this feeling of complete normalcy in talking about our growing family. Well, anyway, he loves that Keith and I will have Peaches and Cinnamon for kids, and he loves when I pretend to gobble him up. When we were painting days later, he included a fourth member of our family and was careful to ask which paint to use to show Cinnamon. True love.
I have to add, in a moment of curiosity, I Googled "Peaches and Cinnamon"... I found some fantastically delicious recipes for cobblers, pies, and crumbles... Mmmmm. I can taste the stories to come. Yes, Laura, I know those recipes qualify as baking!
Much love.
Over the past several weeks, we have danced delicately around our unanimous family decision to add to our family through adoption. We were conscious to not talk too much or too little about "it" in the beginning. We didn't want to talk so much that we built up Sam's excitement and let him down, knowing this would be a very long process. We didn't want to talk too little, knowing he would have questions and that he would be hearing us talk with others about it. So far, it is all feeling okay. Not too hot, not too cold, just right.... just read Goldilocks today.
Sam and I were recently at Borders looking at this book and that. With my copy of the newest book club choice and Sam's copy of the new Charlotte's Web Easy Reader, we ventured into the travel section. I casually snagged a copy of a travel guide for Central America, and feeling on a roll, inquired about Children's Literature on the topic of adoption. (I Love You Like Crazy Cakes) With our bundle of books and a couple of well placed chocolates from the checkout line, we headed home to crack open our new lit. I love new books. And, I really love days like the one this became. We had braved the cold and wind to traverse the mean and unforgiving parking lot, and felt totally justified in curling up on the couch under a shared blanket to laze away the afternoon with our new reads. It was a dream.
Well, it came to the moment when I was thumbing through the Guatemala section of the travel guide. Sam, always curious, asked what I was looking at. I showed him the pictures and maps of where his sister might be born. He immediately wanted to find a picture of a little girl. We had previously talked about the idea that a little sister born in another country will have a different color skin than he does. His response was instant and pure.... he simply informed us that, "everyone has different color skin, that makes us special." More love, love, love. So, feeling comfortable with his lovely view on the world, it was fun to search the pages with him. We also read Crazy Cakes, and I was left, again, with the feeling like Sam is just taking this all in stride. It is a great help to me.
So, this leads me to Peaches and Cinnamon.
Much later on the same day of books and cuddles, Sam asked if we could talk about the 'baby" again. I remember having this very laptop in my lap and tossing it to the side as he crawled up next to me. I asked what he wanted to talk about. Among many topics, he asked me what color he was, and what color would she be?? Without really thinking too much about it, I said he was sort of a peachy color. He checked out his hands and arms and agreed that that was about right. I said that I thought she would probably be more like a cinnamony shade of pretty. He giggled. A lot. He said he liked cinnamon. It was such a tiny moment in time. I remember just feeling goofy and teasing, "Peaches and cinnamon, mmmmmmm, I am going to have such tasty kids, I will just have to eat you up!" It is so small to write this, because it felt so much more. It was two seconds, but it was this feeling of complete normalcy in talking about our growing family. Well, anyway, he loves that Keith and I will have Peaches and Cinnamon for kids, and he loves when I pretend to gobble him up. When we were painting days later, he included a fourth member of our family and was careful to ask which paint to use to show Cinnamon. True love.
I have to add, in a moment of curiosity, I Googled "Peaches and Cinnamon"... I found some fantastically delicious recipes for cobblers, pies, and crumbles... Mmmmm. I can taste the stories to come. Yes, Laura, I know those recipes qualify as baking!
Much love.
Telling Sam
One of the most common questions Keith and I are asked is whether or not Sam "knows". He knows. Not only does he know, he may quite possibly believe that this was all his idea.
One night at dinner, Sam was in a particularly chatty mood. Any of you who have spent more than 15 minutes with Samuel know that this is very common. He just has a lot to say. I don't know where he gets it??? There wasn't anything to suggest that this one night would be "the" night that we would bridge the topic of our plan to adopt, but out of nowhere, there it was. Opportunity. Out of his own mouth, "When I am in Kindergarten, I will be a Big Brother. Yup. When I am in Kindergarten, I am going to have a little sister."
I have to fess up here and say that Sam had said this before. He had said it often in the months leading up to this, and it has sent chills through me each time. I believed him. I still do. I love that he says this, because it has always come from his own heart. No prompting, no promises from us, just his true blue belief that this is the way things will be. My Papa has often told me that children have a direct line with GOD. He says that they can hear Him more clearly than adults. Lucky for us, we have a direct line to Sam, and we hear him loud and clear.
So, on hearing the invitation, we jumped in. I will never be able to remember the first words that lead to our conversation, but I can clearly remember the pit in my stomache and the lump in my throat. I was nervous. Nervous!? Yes, I guess that was one of the stronget emotions. Strange to think about it now.
Anyway, we talked to him. We talked about how he grew in my belly. We talked about how families can be made in all sorts of wild and wonderful ways. We talked about reasons that a baby born in one Mommy's belly might become a part of another family. It was hard to get some of the words out in a way that would make sense to a four year old, in a way that would not talk down to him or lessen the importance of it all, but to be always sensitive to how the ideas would be interpreted. It all felt very big. We talked. And talked. He listened, and then it was quiet. I was sure we had him totally confused, but I now know that he was just putting it all together in his own way.
In the end, he looked at us and said, in the most casual of ways, "We could be a family to a baby who needs us."
Tears. Love, love, love!
He then promptly launched into the list of all lists we would need to get ready to bring a child home. Whoa. He was thorough! Keith and I had so much we were bursting to say, so many more things to tell him and to ask... but we just listened. He listed, and we listened. It was a truly sweet and special moment, and there were more to come.
I felt our family grow.
More to come on the "things Sam says".
Much love.
One night at dinner, Sam was in a particularly chatty mood. Any of you who have spent more than 15 minutes with Samuel know that this is very common. He just has a lot to say. I don't know where he gets it??? There wasn't anything to suggest that this one night would be "the" night that we would bridge the topic of our plan to adopt, but out of nowhere, there it was. Opportunity. Out of his own mouth, "When I am in Kindergarten, I will be a Big Brother. Yup. When I am in Kindergarten, I am going to have a little sister."
I have to fess up here and say that Sam had said this before. He had said it often in the months leading up to this, and it has sent chills through me each time. I believed him. I still do. I love that he says this, because it has always come from his own heart. No prompting, no promises from us, just his true blue belief that this is the way things will be. My Papa has often told me that children have a direct line with GOD. He says that they can hear Him more clearly than adults. Lucky for us, we have a direct line to Sam, and we hear him loud and clear.
So, on hearing the invitation, we jumped in. I will never be able to remember the first words that lead to our conversation, but I can clearly remember the pit in my stomache and the lump in my throat. I was nervous. Nervous!? Yes, I guess that was one of the stronget emotions. Strange to think about it now.
Anyway, we talked to him. We talked about how he grew in my belly. We talked about how families can be made in all sorts of wild and wonderful ways. We talked about reasons that a baby born in one Mommy's belly might become a part of another family. It was hard to get some of the words out in a way that would make sense to a four year old, in a way that would not talk down to him or lessen the importance of it all, but to be always sensitive to how the ideas would be interpreted. It all felt very big. We talked. And talked. He listened, and then it was quiet. I was sure we had him totally confused, but I now know that he was just putting it all together in his own way.
In the end, he looked at us and said, in the most casual of ways, "We could be a family to a baby who needs us."
Tears. Love, love, love!
He then promptly launched into the list of all lists we would need to get ready to bring a child home. Whoa. He was thorough! Keith and I had so much we were bursting to say, so many more things to tell him and to ask... but we just listened. He listed, and we listened. It was a truly sweet and special moment, and there were more to come.
I felt our family grow.
More to come on the "things Sam says".
Much love.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Yes, it's true!
The word is out. Keith, Sam and I have decided to add to our family through adoption. Keith and I have talked about this for months (maybe years). When we knew that we were truly ready, we talked to Sam. In an effort to keep this sweet and to the point, I will only say that the decision was unanimous. Yay! Phew! Yay!
So, in thinking of all of you and the obvious questions and wonderings you would have in regard to this exciting and wonderful (we think!) decision, I have decided to try my hand at this blog idea. I have to be honest in sharing that I have no idea what I am doing, but why should that stop me!?!
If this (blog) becomes more than a one shot deal, I would love to share the story of the night we sat around the dinner table and first talked with Sam about adoption and what that might mean for our family. I can at least tell you this, it was a conversation we will not soon forget, and it brings JOY to my heart whenever I think about it.
Well, I thought I would use this first post to bring you up to speed on where we have been and where we are.
When we made the decision to pursue adoption, I set right out to learn everything there was to learn. I made calls, surfed every website I came across, talked to anyone I knew who was remotely connected to the adoption world. I was immediately fascinated (and a little obsessed) with everything I learned, and the more I learned, the more questions I had. What is the process? Who are the children? What is the timeframe? I quickly discovered that I knew very little about International Adoption, and I wanted to inhale it all in one breath. I couldn't. Thank goodness. Keith soon reminded me that this was a marathon, and not a sprint. Now that I have slowed myself, taking it one tenth of a mile at a time, I am also reminded to take a look around. We may be facing a long road, but I believe there will be plenty of moments to stop and absorb.
Oh gosh, I promised Mom if I did this that I would not write a novel... and here I am well onto the first chapter!
Let me share the details we are most often asked about:
After hooking up with an agency near home, we began to collect a small mountain of paperwork. I have been reassured that this is only the beginning of paperwork to come. Lucky for us, my schedule makes tracking down legal documents more manageable. Right before the first document was notarized (thank you, Padre), we began to share our news with our dear family and friends. What can we say? You have always been supportive and loving in our lives, and have shown us only the same again. We are so blessed.
What else? Let's see. We attended adoption education classes. The classes were great. I think that had a lot to do with our fabulous teacher, and the truly lovely people we were lucky enough to attend with. We have also started our "Home Study". We have a case worker assigned to our family. Sue. She has been to the house once already. We felt very comfortable with her. She will come back again next week. She sort of has the control over when the next steps can happen. Once she has written her report on our family (only slighlty nerve wracking), we will be able to move forward into what is the heart and soul of the adoption. Once we are there, I will explain in more detail.
For now, we are planning to adopt a girl from Guatemala. I say "planning to" because we know that things can change. We imagine that she will be younger than a year old, but again, can't say for sure. We only know that, one day,we will be bringing our daughter home and she will be so loved. Is it possible to love someone you have not even met yet?
We are happy, we are nervous, and we continue to feel truly blessed.
If posting this information is helpful and/or interesting to you, I will do my best to keep it up to date as things occur.
Oh, and about the name of this blog.... I will post the story that lead to that soon. For me, it was yet another way that Sam reassured me that he is going to be a wonderful big brother.
Thank you each for your support now, and for that which I know we will need down the road.
Much love.
So, in thinking of all of you and the obvious questions and wonderings you would have in regard to this exciting and wonderful (we think!) decision, I have decided to try my hand at this blog idea. I have to be honest in sharing that I have no idea what I am doing, but why should that stop me!?!
If this (blog) becomes more than a one shot deal, I would love to share the story of the night we sat around the dinner table and first talked with Sam about adoption and what that might mean for our family. I can at least tell you this, it was a conversation we will not soon forget, and it brings JOY to my heart whenever I think about it.
Well, I thought I would use this first post to bring you up to speed on where we have been and where we are.
When we made the decision to pursue adoption, I set right out to learn everything there was to learn. I made calls, surfed every website I came across, talked to anyone I knew who was remotely connected to the adoption world. I was immediately fascinated (and a little obsessed) with everything I learned, and the more I learned, the more questions I had. What is the process? Who are the children? What is the timeframe? I quickly discovered that I knew very little about International Adoption, and I wanted to inhale it all in one breath. I couldn't. Thank goodness. Keith soon reminded me that this was a marathon, and not a sprint. Now that I have slowed myself, taking it one tenth of a mile at a time, I am also reminded to take a look around. We may be facing a long road, but I believe there will be plenty of moments to stop and absorb.
Oh gosh, I promised Mom if I did this that I would not write a novel... and here I am well onto the first chapter!
Let me share the details we are most often asked about:
After hooking up with an agency near home, we began to collect a small mountain of paperwork. I have been reassured that this is only the beginning of paperwork to come. Lucky for us, my schedule makes tracking down legal documents more manageable. Right before the first document was notarized (thank you, Padre), we began to share our news with our dear family and friends. What can we say? You have always been supportive and loving in our lives, and have shown us only the same again. We are so blessed.
What else? Let's see. We attended adoption education classes. The classes were great. I think that had a lot to do with our fabulous teacher, and the truly lovely people we were lucky enough to attend with. We have also started our "Home Study". We have a case worker assigned to our family. Sue. She has been to the house once already. We felt very comfortable with her. She will come back again next week. She sort of has the control over when the next steps can happen. Once she has written her report on our family (only slighlty nerve wracking), we will be able to move forward into what is the heart and soul of the adoption. Once we are there, I will explain in more detail.
For now, we are planning to adopt a girl from Guatemala. I say "planning to" because we know that things can change. We imagine that she will be younger than a year old, but again, can't say for sure. We only know that, one day,we will be bringing our daughter home and she will be so loved. Is it possible to love someone you have not even met yet?
We are happy, we are nervous, and we continue to feel truly blessed.
If posting this information is helpful and/or interesting to you, I will do my best to keep it up to date as things occur.
Oh, and about the name of this blog.... I will post the story that lead to that soon. For me, it was yet another way that Sam reassured me that he is going to be a wonderful big brother.
Thank you each for your support now, and for that which I know we will need down the road.
Much love.
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