One of the most common questions Keith and I are asked is whether or not Sam "knows". He knows. Not only does he know, he may quite possibly believe that this was all his idea.
One night at dinner, Sam was in a particularly chatty mood. Any of you who have spent more than 15 minutes with Samuel know that this is very common. He just has a lot to say. I don't know where he gets it??? There wasn't anything to suggest that this one night would be "the" night that we would bridge the topic of our plan to adopt, but out of nowhere, there it was. Opportunity. Out of his own mouth, "When I am in Kindergarten, I will be a Big Brother. Yup. When I am in Kindergarten, I am going to have a little sister."
I have to fess up here and say that Sam had said this before. He had said it often in the months leading up to this, and it has sent chills through me each time. I believed him. I still do. I love that he says this, because it has always come from his own heart. No prompting, no promises from us, just his true blue belief that this is the way things will be. My Papa has often told me that children have a direct line with GOD. He says that they can hear Him more clearly than adults. Lucky for us, we have a direct line to Sam, and we hear him loud and clear.
So, on hearing the invitation, we jumped in. I will never be able to remember the first words that lead to our conversation, but I can clearly remember the pit in my stomache and the lump in my throat. I was nervous. Nervous!? Yes, I guess that was one of the stronget emotions. Strange to think about it now.
Anyway, we talked to him. We talked about how he grew in my belly. We talked about how families can be made in all sorts of wild and wonderful ways. We talked about reasons that a baby born in one Mommy's belly might become a part of another family. It was hard to get some of the words out in a way that would make sense to a four year old, in a way that would not talk down to him or lessen the importance of it all, but to be always sensitive to how the ideas would be interpreted. It all felt very big. We talked. And talked. He listened, and then it was quiet. I was sure we had him totally confused, but I now know that he was just putting it all together in his own way.
In the end, he looked at us and said, in the most casual of ways, "We could be a family to a baby who needs us."
Tears. Love, love, love!
He then promptly launched into the list of all lists we would need to get ready to bring a child home. Whoa. He was thorough! Keith and I had so much we were bursting to say, so many more things to tell him and to ask... but we just listened. He listed, and we listened. It was a truly sweet and special moment, and there were more to come.
I felt our family grow.
More to come on the "things Sam says".