Sunday, January 13, 2008

100th Post

Is threre some urban legend about what you are supposed to do when you reach your 100th post? I don't know what even made me look to see, but I was feeling pulled to post something this morning without really knowing what news I could share. I suppose 100 is significant, but I am not really sure what to do with it. Perhaps a new outfit? A nice meal out? hee hee

Anyway, I really was sitting down to write a little bit of nothing, so I will just pick up there.

I was thinking this morning about what January has meant for my little family. You see, November was a fairly dark month in our house. There were layers of life's challenges happening all at the same time, and our future was sort of all wrapped up in a bunch of fog. Through it all, we remained strong and hopeful, but it is hard to go about daily life in a fog, which is why this renewed feeling of seeing a bit more clearly is so lovely.

You know, it is just life that we have to accept that we will not always, or often, have the answers we long for. We know that we really don't ever have as much control over things as we would like, and we have certainly learned to accept that timelines and expectations are likely to be constantly challenged and changed.

These realities are not only specific to bringing Luciana home, and they are just a few of the lessons that this experience has taught us. Learning the deeper meanings of patience, grace and gratitude have have applied to every corner of our world. We are not always good at it, but we are so much better.

January has arrived with a wonderful new clarity. The fog has lifted, and we can see a future with our daughter more clearly than ever. Though our timelines seem to slide ever so slightly further from our original hopes, we breath easier knowing that we are so close. And those "other" challenges... well, they seem to be working themselves out, too. Whether it is family, work, home, or friends, letting go of control and having faith has helped me to put down the paper bag and take a deep breath on many occasions in these past months.

We are so close.

So, on this 100th post, while my boys (b/c at this moment, Keith is just as much a boy as Sam) play together, giggling... and as we prepare to head out for a family day with Lucy in our hearts... as we go about our typical routines... we are at peace, full of hope, and feeling totally blessed for the fog that has lifted.

Much love.

7 comments:

Bobbi said...

Happy 100th post!! I think a new outfit for YOU AND LUCY is appropriate. (heehee--don't tell Keith I said that!)

Soon all the fog will have lifted, and that haze of no sleep will replace it, and that will be so much better.

Enjoy your day out as a family.

Donna said...

Oh Beth, that's a beautiful post, so wonderfully written. I can feel your "serenness" through the words.
100th post?!? Um, I think technically, that is celebrated by a night out on the town while wearing a new outfit!

Victoria & Joe said...

Great post.. Happy 100... and since we don't know the protocol for the 100 th post we can start our own.. so.. new outfit it is...

Guatemama said...

Beth,
It sounds like the last few months have been hard for you and not just on the adoption front. That has been enough "hard" for anyone and I am sorry that more was going on. I am glad that things are getting better!! Take care
Tracy

Emily said...

Happy 100th! Can I ever relate to the fog....I'm so relieved it has lifted for the both of us. WE ARE SO CLOSE!!!!

Emily

Steph said...

Happy 100th post!!!

The uncertainties and unanswered questions are so difficult at times. Doesn't that fog help us appreciate the light even more?

But, there is one thing for certain...that precious Lucy girl is coming home and she will be in your arms very soon.

Enjoy rubbing the fog from your eyes and seeing the world with a new beginning!!

Greta Jo said...

Great post Beth! Soon, real soon you will see the bright shining sun.