I have put off this post; these emotions. Luciana's 1st birthday is in 4 days. This seems impossible to me. It is such an amazing milestone to have the blessed privilege to be able to celebrate with her.... in our home... with us. It is so emotional to acknowledge that she is home with US because there were many scares along the road to becoming our family that threatened a very different possibility on these days. We are so blessed.
Having said that. I am a mess! ha. Anyone surprised? I just keep counting the days to Luciana's birthday with a heavy heart (and one of celebration, of course) and the reality that it will mean something very different for both her birth mother and her foster mother. I hold Lucy's birthday so close to my heart more for her first mothers than even for myself. On June 18th I am going to remember how very much I longed for my sweet angel, but, more than that, I promise to remember the two women who made sacrifices I can't imagine to give her this life with our family and to give us the family of our dreams. We will honor the two families who loved her first.
I have taken some time to look back at the posts I first wrote when we were beginning the process to adopt. It feels like an absolute lifetime ago. I had SO much to say, and the emotion was so raw! Now, I just spend a whole lot of time being thankful to God that I can go upstairs and kiss the heads of my children as they sleep and know that we are complete.